Should I cry?

Hi ... 

its been a while I'm not telling you the story of my life lately.
In the last posting, yeah I was so sad.
Because I lost someone meaningful in my life.


Do you ever feel it so?   I did :'(       

When my heart was really broken at that night.
I tried to fix it, I tried to escape my self from that feeling.

I tried to taste another new world, I tried to see with another perspective.
I've tried to make up my mind and storm a new perception.
But nothing my heart can do to heal my self.
Didn't you know that?
Didn't you feel that?

I try to meet another new peoples.
Friends from batam, my hometown.

@friday, 15th April
I visited "Yogyakarta Batam's Student Hostel"
Batam's Student on Yogyakarta are very welcomed.
They planed to have an event.
I tried to busy myself so I joined.
It was nice, but not really nice and I wasn't happy I didn't even know why.
I felt the pain inside though I covered it a fake smile.

:')
yeah I remember that night.
When me, my self talking and joking with my friends, my boys :)
Ogga, Wahyu, Musofa, Chevy, Nurdin, etc
Plus with my girl-my besties, Indah :)

That night we laughed, and told everythings fun.
You guys were really funny, ilysm

but Indah still can read my eyes..
I laughed, but my heart didn't.
I smiled but that was fake.

She said, "You solved all that boys problems, but You can't solve and heal your self...
No one can do it, whats excatly the matter with you?"

I just can smile and said, "yeah, you are right.."

@saturday - Sunday
I escaped my self to the Boedak-Batam's event.
they called it MTA (Musyawarah Tahunan Anggota) @ kliurang, merapi, Yogyakarta
That was my 1st time to come, Nice one :)

@monday
Back to that silly feeling.
I missed you so damn badly.

@Tuesday (Now 23:38)

I am doing my homework.

Coding.
Hmh..  I remeber about someone who ever stay accompany me till the end of the night.
I wonder where he is now? :(

Ah, back to the feeling.
All the memories are just exacerbate my feeling :'(
It hurts me a lot again and again T.T

The memory goes.. and leave the pain inside my heart.

All the people who I loved has gone.
No one stay...

My Juliet-Yulia, Chillhood-Desny, Laughing-laily, Reku, Adreamer-s-Kun, Niichan, Neechan...




Should I run and start all over again to have a new people to come and stay next to me?
Should I change my self into another one so I can have a new friend?
Should I kill my self then I'll be born in a new place to see a new face?






I'm tired...

May be its best to stay here with no one...
Try to not having a close friend anymore.

May be its best to leave everything behind
And make it as a sweet painful memories

May be its best to forget everyone...
Cuz they are already happy with someone else not me...

So I update my facebook status into..
"I always see that someone happy with someone else not me.
I see what I saw, I am happy with my self, there is no 'someone' else..."

I close my eyes...
Then now should I cry?



-love,
vitrie
Wednesday, 00:24